I DEFINE ME.

No New Year Resolution please...

2012-01-04T13:19:00.002+08:00

What's the use of a resolution if you don't make plan to achieved it? So for 2012, no new resolution for me, I have made too many promises to myself and it's a headache to achieved them. Short plans are better. Aiming for the Dolce & Gabbana's perfume is one *smile to self * Not going to dream of getting my figure back, oh no* a thousand times no* . No planing for holidays as well, * you know I have a super hyper kid whose new year resolution is make mummy go gaga right?*

Well happy new year to all and lets see what 2012 has in store for us..

Oh Plurlezzzz....

2011-12-08T11:29:00.002+08:00

I don't understand people who likes to brag when they're on a long holiday? So what's the point of rubbing in the salt on those who're still working? Yeah I get that you're a teacher and you get to have long holidays, so what? You do know that teachers score the highest rate in the mental break down area right? And you have the biggest responsibilities of all jobs? You hold a person's future in your hands and not just one but thousands. I sometimes wonder why we need to send our kids to school where by they don't learn a thing and the only way we get them to excel is to send them for extra tuition. Does that mean most teachers don't teach? so what are they doing with our kids? Why are their salaries one of the highest in the public sector? So being lazy with lots of holidays and top of all that, making more money then others. Wow I think most of us are in the wrong business.

P/s Next time don't ask me stupid question and brag about it. You don't want to get on my bad list.

In the moment

2011-11-29T10:06:00.002+08:00

There are moments in life where you can't go back and do it all over again. The saddest part is you're deprived of the memory. I'm so pissed right now that the urged to end a relationship is so great. It hurts to see everyone enjoying the moment and talking about it with such a loving memory.
Right now I wish I could get rid of this hurt and anger so I can live in peace.

November rain

2011-11-08T17:09:00.002+08:00

It's November and it's raining. I think Gun & Roses sure knew about Malaysian weather. Don't get me wrong, I love the rain as long as it falls on the right time of the day; when I'm safe, asleep snoring in my bed. Like this afternoon for instant, I was at the cafeteria with my colleagues and the weather suddenly went dark and windy. It blew so hard that when I reach the office I look like I've been hit by a truck, twice! I'm so keeping my fingers cross this evening, hopefully no rain and wind till I'm home.

The other thing about cold weather is hunger; I don’t know bout other people but I always get hungry during the cold, rainy weather. It’s affecting my diet. I need to eat but not at all hours. * Yeah blaming the weather for my weight gain, hehehehe. I bet this one is new*

I hope we don’t have this much rain during Christmas, It’s Khloe’s 2^nd Christmas but this year she gets to visit and eat cookies and cakes. I hope she will gain weight this Christmas, you’ve never heard a mom wishing for her daughter to gain weight right? Well since the hospital and clinic keeps bugging me on her slow weight gain, my wish is for her to reach her ideal weight, not fat or obese but just enough to move out of the under nourish line. I wish I could transfer these extra kilos that I’ve gain after pregnancy to her then both of our problem will be solved.

OK got to go, my PMP is calling me.

Christmas is in the air

2011-11-03T16:04:00.002+08:00

It's almost Christmas, I can feel the tingling of joy in my feet and Christmas Carols are singing in my pc. What bliss, what joy, what fun.
Khloe is going to have a blast this Christmas I'm sure and daddy's going to have headache as well, seeing mummy and daughter shopping like mad.

Money matters

2011-11-02T14:01:00.002+08:00

I just found out* well not really* I need to control my expenditures. I ordered some Victoria Secret Body Mist and found out the price went up and since I don't like to called a back out shopper so what to do? Then I realized again I ordered a set of Tupperware Freezer Mate. Oh man.. Then there's my girl Disney Learner's DVD * Well this one is an investment on my little precious*
I think I over spend! Should I tell my hubby or not? May be No. Hehehe..
Ok so next month I'm writing down everything I buy especially those online. Man buying online is really tempting. Browse kids clothing, wow so cute, click buy, wow nice shoes for Khloe, click buy. Wah adorable bag, click buy. Ayaiyaiyai.... I need to stop doing that. Target for 2012 save more money. *Note to self*

Sleepy eye

2011-10-08T14:29:00.003+08:00

I'm so dayyum sleepy. My eyes can't hardly open and what more to say stay focus. I wish I'm in bed now. The sky is clear, the sun is hiding away and I can feel the cool breeze blowing. This is seer invitation to dream world.
The clock is ticking; 20 more minutes to go and it's home sweet home. Did I mention I don't understand what the heck are these foreign students saying. I can see their mouth open and close but what in the world are they saying. I think my mind just freezed.
Ok enough rambling for today

That should be me

2011-09-15T16:22:00.002+08:00

What happens when someone 's thought is always ME..ME..ME.., Yes they turn ugly green and slimy well in my head they do. It's not jealousy we're talking here, just pure %$#@&*. I've never met anyone so annoying and superficial. Being a BOSS means BIG responsibility, not only to yourself but to your subordinates and your company. It's all about team work, we're working together not I work for myself and glory to oneself. I guess some people just refuse to move from the dinosaur era. Well good luck cause you really need it.

September has arrived

2011-09-05T10:34:00.003+08:00

It's already September people and my baby girl is going to be a year old toddler in 2 weeks time. Wow time does fly real fast. I have this mixed feeling of not wanting her to grow up and wishing that she would finally give mummy a break. Ai yai yai yai yai... How ah? am I the only one feeling like this? Then there's the baby sitter problem again? I feel guilty asking my mom to take care of her plus my ears can't handle any more complaints of back ache, knee ache, the whole body aching any more. I'm in such a dilemma right now, oh please God help me.
Sending her to a nursery at this age and with her unpredictable tantrum some more? adoi!! how ah? I can't stop working, I'll be a Stonehenge mother in a month time. I've been working all my adult life, ever since I was 18 and I even earned my degree as a part time student. Now I really understand why some people opp to not having children after marriage, right now it seems like a good idea. Don't get me wrong I love my baby girl to pieces and she is the center of my pride and joy. I wish Mirian would employ some one working from home.

Boooo hoooooo

2011-08-10T10:10:00.002+08:00

I was deeply sadden during the friendly match between Chelsea and Malaysia * Yeah this was a very late review*
I'm not a fan of Malaysian Football at all; I know you can tell. One of Chelsea's Player Yossi Benayoun is an Israelite but playing in the English Premier League and during the game in MALAYSIA, he was booed by the Malaysian fan. I don't get it; it's the government you don't like so don't take your hate on the people. I wonder how would they feel when people hate our Leaders and with just being called Malaysian from Malaysia people looked down on us and booed us? Huh?? I hope no international clubs will ever play in Malaysia again. I truly do.
I'm not proud to be a Malaysian and it's sorely because this country is biased and do not appreciate its citizen. I'm born and raised here but I never feel like it's my country. Everyday I watch and hear in the news the so called leaders and government saying I'm just a third class citizen and I don't have any importance. I don't get benefits and I'm always over-looked in everything from education to job. So why must I be loyal to such country?

It's my Birthday today

2011-08-05T11:25:00.003+08:00

The first birthday as a mom, not bad, it's still same old same old. I'm just reminding myself, age is just a number* In denial stage*. Khloe love this song on babyTV; her current favourite channel. It goes "Is today my happy day, is today my happy day, it's my birthday today, I'm so happy today, I've been waiting for whole year and it's finally here. " well it sounds something like that.
I'm happy regardless it's my birthday or not. I've achieved what I strive for, I'm a wife and a mother. I have a caring family and some good friends surround me. There are some things in life I still long for and it keeps me fired to do better.
People always say life is short, even if you live to be a 100, it's still short? Well personally I say God is fair, he gives us just the right amount of time in this life. Be happy always and be thankful everyday for his Blessing.

Remember when

2011-07-27T13:29:00.002+08:00

I love listening to Alan Jackson * who is he you say? carik lah kat wikipedia ngok* heh! I love country music and his songs are some of my favourites. They have this real calmness to the soul when you listen to them. While browsing through youtube I drop by Alan Jackson remember when and it brought me back my old memories. Some good, some sad and some unforgettable.

Middle of the year ?

2011-07-18T17:07:00.002+08:00

It's middle of the year and woot! time flies real fast. I have a very unproductive mood today. I can't think of anything good except sleep. I need some inspiration to get me going. Looking at the new students just won't do, some are so pathetic, they're registering as university students and yet they have their parents tagging along with them just like when they were in kindergarten for the first time. My parents only registered me on my first day as a primary school kid and after that as long as I can remembered I registered myself every single year and I survived! Hah! enough of that, it's almost time to head home.

I need some time out

2011-07-14T17:12:00.001+08:00

I need a holiday, I need time to call my own, no baby crying in the middle of the night, no house chores to do and dead lines to catch. Hmmmm... maybe in my dreams I'm able to achieve that holiday.

I'm a country chick

2011-07-13T10:39:00.002+08:00

I love country music cause I was brought up listening to it. I never get bored listening to country music; that's you'll only see country songs link in my facebook. It's like listening to a beautifully written story. I understand the lyrics and I can feel the joy and sadness of the story line.
I wish I could listen to a country channel on my radio.

A moment to ponder

2011-07-06T16:07:00.002+08:00

Behind every cloud there's a silver lining; I've heard this line many times. How does a person goes through the dark clouds when the one person who is suppose to protect you does nothing? No it's not me, I'm blessed with a loving husband and a supportive family. It's just one of my random thoughts, unfortunately it keeps hunting my thoughts and tugging at my heart. It is a hard decision but to choose between 2 sides is hard and impossible but to let go of one of them is wrong. To treat a person with such contempt is even worst even though you say you know better.
I know that I don't know what my future holds, I don't know if I'll live till tomorrow but I do know God is good and he defense the weak and unable. I also knows that "Aku dolok makan garam" is not suitable during an argument, you might get " Ya lah ko awal kenak darah tinggi" as an answer. Age does not guarantee wisdom; wisdom comes with self disciplines and thoughtfulness. Walk in a person's shoes first before you open your mouth to criticized and most of all never scrutinized the speck of dust in the other person's eye and ignore the log in yours. Last but not least, Always remember, the grave is just a stone throw away, what goes around comes around. A quote from a dear friend " waiting list rah kubur".

I need it back

2011-07-05T16:49:00.002+08:00

I need my old weight back, I'm 74kg now, the heaviest I've ever been in my entire life! I missed my old jeans, my baby tees *sad face mood*.. I can't do intensive exercises cause of my operation last year but it won't be a set back, I can still do it.. hehehe.. All the best to me...

Semedis is the word

2011-07-04T10:31:00.002+08:00

Do you know what's 'Semedis' is? No? well I tuned to a channel in FB, she's known as Kak Lehot and she sure makes my day.

lazy as lazy can be

2011-06-30T16:42:00.002+08:00

I'm tired and I'm lazy, that's all for today

Humble pie

2011-06-28T13:14:00.003+08:00

Saturday at the orphanage was a great experience. How often in life have we quarreled with our parents, talking back at them, showing them how unhappy we are with their rules, we don't appreciate the uncool clothes they bought for us? When I look at the face of the children at the orphanage, I can't help thinking of my parents, of the things I should have been doing for them, of the words that I should have not said to them. What happened if I lost them? blinking back tears, I watch them smile gleefully with the simple gifts we bought them. Their laughter of hearing the hissing sound of an open coke bottle. The very thing we take for granted is something they don't see everyday. At such tender age, they have lost their parents or taken away from their parents. Having almost nothing to their names and yet they are able to offer such beautiful smiles.
Nothing is forever in this world, appreciate what we have, enjoy the company, show the love, don't wait till it's too late, regret is harsh and it stays forever.

Tiger Baby and Rabbit Mom

2011-06-23T14:30:00.004+08:00

I want to read the 'Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother' by Amy Chua. I just read an interview between her and Reader’s Digest in their June issue. While reading I starts imagining how I would be bring up my daughter as I read through and nodding in agreement with her. I may be a rabbit mom but I can be a tiger mom when it comes to my daughter. I love her fiercely and I want the best for her. Even though she's going to be my only child; spoiling her rotten is out of the question. I've been brought up by a very strict mother, and yes I had my rebellion 'season' but I respect my mom. In everything I do, in every decision I make, I can hear her voice ringing in my head " Remember, I may not know what you're doing but God can". If that don't scare you then I don't know what will. My brothers and I are expected to do the best in everything we do; in our studies especially but she was really tough on me. I must know how to do house chores as well. That includes cooking, cleaning, washing the clothes etc-etc. I hated it when I have to do house chores while my friends were playing. But now I'm more then grateful to my mom for making me do all that. I can cook, my house is clean and I can take care of my own kid and I'm a working mom.
I'm happy with the choices she made for me when I was young because what do we know what we want back then? If my brothers and I wanted something, we have to earn it; we don't get toys by just asking for them or making cute faces. Now when I see my young cousins and nieces and nephews with their hand phones, PSPs, and so forth* I can't even name some of the stuff they have* I feel a bit sad, what will they be in the future? Do they aspect everything to be lay on a silver platter for them. Will they learn what it means to work hard for something you really want?
As I watch my baby I can't help smiling, she's going to be really tough cause she has a rabbit mom in disguise.

What not to see

2011-06-22T14:28:00.002+08:00

Never view pictures of food when you're hungry, especially if the food are not available in your home town!
Due to boredom, I decided to checked on my cousin Aaron who's in UK at the moment and by checking I mean viewing his FB pictures. Since he's a cam W%$#@ so he will snap anything and everything. I love the very little pictures of flowers, the sheep and cows, scenery are to die for BUT the food *thinking of slapping myself silly* I saw bacon, I want to eat bacon. I see English pudding, I want to eat the bloody English pudding!. So no needless to say about the strawberries, salads, spinach* yes even that* I want to eat everything!
Moral of the story, *note to self* No need to ngegeh-ngegeh see picture of food when you're hungry.
Quote from Victor " This is true story"

Songs of my heart

2011-06-20T14:18:00.002+08:00

One of my greatest passion is listening to songs. I can't carry a tune doesn't mean I don't appreciate good music. When one gets bored with work *or the lack of it*, one's fingers just itch to click on youtube and listen to em songs.
I came upon this singer and song quite accidentally and I cried silent tears listening to the lyrics.

Khloe is down with fever

2011-06-15T13:05:00.003+08:00

Khloe has the fever and sore throat and surprisingly, she's still very active and super 'conggek'. No one is allowed out of her sight. I took her to the doctor this morning and that baby of mine love to be checked, she laughed when the doctor checked her breathing with the stethoscope and smile sweetly when he checked her throat.
By now I should have known that she's immune to all these stuffs. She barely cried when being given her shots. I have a pretty tough baby that's for sure.

I'm back

2011-06-14T12:20:00.002+08:00

I miss blogging, really i do. I've been busy * Alasan biasa guwe* busy with work, busy with my princess who's going to be 9 months soon. She's really growing fast, well sort of. 6.3kg at 8 months and 2 weeks. When I'm at work, I miss her so much and I wish I could spend each second of my life with her, then when she drives me nuts with her never ending 'conggekness' I feel like pulling my hair and scream death at everyone in sight. Well that's motherhood to those who think it's all honey and spices and everything nice!.

Random Rambling

2011-03-04T20:25:00.002+08:00

Hey it's March already, I'm tired, still trying my best to juggle my role as a wife, a mother and working life. It is not easy, there are times when I missed stuffs that I used to do like working out, hanging out with my girlfriends, shopping and just doing nothing but eat and sleep all day long and travelling. People used to say enjoy your single life as much as you can then settle down. Well may be for some it does work but for some I don't think so. There are days when I wish I could just let everything go, I feel so tired. I can't find time for myself any more, my weight sky rocket, my hair is in a mess * thinning rapidly more like it*, my clothes don't it and I miss wearing high heels. There's no such thing as a hot mama, you are literally hot as in temper hot all the time.

Being a mom is not easy, we do lots of giving, literally; giving in to our baby's demands, giving up most things in life.

I'm not complaining, just letting stuff off my chest.

Ok that's all for today

Hello 2011

2011-01-31T20:07:00.003+08:00

I know, it's the end of January in the year 2011 already. I've only posted a few blogs last year and this year is not going to change too. I'm not going to say I'll blog more, oh no! I'm lazy and I admit it beside I'm already a mother to a 4 month old baby girl. She was born premature at 7 months and it was my fault. My blood pressure sky rocket and my precious baby had to be inborn. It was a very difficult moment and it was not an easy decision to allow the doctors to operate when I know my baby is going to be small. she was born at 8.09pm on the 20th of September, 2 months 2 weeks early weighing 980gm. I nearly fainted when I saw her for the first time in the incubator, I can't help blaming myself and constantly asking God to save her. Indeed He is a great God and now Khloe Ruran Chen is a healthy 4 months old baby. She's small for her age but she's a feisty one.What have I accomplished in 2010, well I became a wife in February, finished my study in May, suppose to attend my convocation in November, and last but not least a mother in September. Not bad actually, like the saying " what doesn't kill you makes you stronger". And the one thing that keeps me going is my total faith in G0d that he will make everything alright according to his will and time.

So good bye 2010 and hello 2011, lets make this year another year to remember.

The 6 month mark

2010-09-03T19:58:00.002+08:00

I've never been so tired in my life. Had my monthly check up with the doctor today and I told him my knuckles are sore. He laughed and checked my blood pressure and my BP is slightly higher then usual. i have to go back for another checked up in a week time. Oh man, my feet are starting to swell and I have water retention meaning my weight is going up fast. It is not a good sign.
I have to watch what I eat, from now on no more 'curi makan' mum's pusu goreng at night. I wonder if she realized I've eaten all her fried anchovies. Not too much liquid late at night either. Another 3 more more months to go. Dear Lord, help me to go through this.
If I don't eat, my gastric will trigger, if I do eat my weight goes up. I do not want to look like a hippo once I've delivered junior. It's not fair, I'm getting bigger and my hubby is getting slimmer. I want him to gain so I don't feel I'm the only one getting so huge. Even with his craving for ice-cream and chocolate is not helping, he still maintain his weight.
ok that's all for now. I need to rest my feet

Help

2010-08-26T21:20:00.003+08:00

It has been that long huh? Well I've been lazy and now since I'm waddling and not walking, so it is a long day indeed. Sometimes when I look at myself in the mirror, I pray that i would not stay looking like this; a hag.
I can't bare the smell of lipstick, nor do I bother about makeup and looking pretty and chic. All I care about when I get up in the morning is literally just getting up.
I can sense the lack of interest in my work and I'm so bloody forgetful. This is not the normal me, I'm sharp and I can foresee a mistake miles away but NOW even if the mistake is under my nose I can't seem to notice it. Not being able to look at my feet is understandable but this is irritating.
To be accuse of not doing my work and working like a new recruit is indeed very painful to swallow but swallowing it is all I can do. Nobody told me I have to go through all this during a pregnancy. Oh Lord give me the strength to go through this for another 3 more months then I bet there are more surprises waiting for me.
When they say being a parent is a new thing, well they are not exaggerating. It is mind bogging and unpredictable.
At times I wonder, can I do this? Do I have the strength and knowledge to bring up a human being and not screw his life? Oh I'm more lost then ever.

I'm Lost

2010-04-30T15:55:00.002+08:00

Well not literally lost but yeah lost in a sense of not knowing what to do, how to react. Sometimes when things happen; good or bad will utter your life. It's something you want, but maybe later and it's here and you don't know what to do, so what's there to do? I'm trying to accept it. May be some tongue will say I'm not grateful and bla..bla.... I rather not go there* polah kecik ati jak*
I'm scared and I'm not sure if I can do it. I'm kind of sick when people say it's my time but am I ready? What happen if I'm not good at it? Am I screwing someone's life here? Ah the things that goes through my head. They are not good and the drastic change I'm facing is killing me. I know I'm suppose to be happy but some how I'm not. I hope this feeling will go away soon for the sake of everybody. I can't even bring myself to talk about it. I feel so evil*sigh*
I feel like crying at times especially when I feel so lost.

It has been that long

2010-03-20T11:34:00.003+08:00

Yeah I know I've been neglecting my blog for so long, too long. There are too many updates so I'll just write what comes to mind.
Today is my 1 month anniversary of being a wife. Oh yeah I'm married, at last. Not to mention the last one standing some more. So how is married life? People asked me well it's pretty much the same, only that now I don't have to do decision on my own. I have been making decision for myself for so long and it takes great adjustment for me personally.
I had the most memorable wedding, more then I anticipated. Nothing is better then being surrounded by family and friends. My cousins were so supportive that I could not feel anything other then grateful and love.
Thank you all for making it such a beautiful day. I was glad that my wedding was filled with people I know. Imagine a hall full of people and when you look at them, the first thing that comes to your mind was who that is? Am I related to that?
I'm too lazy to post any pictures so just browse through my Facebook for them. Heh!

Ok may be just one.

Hey it's 2010 already..

2010-01-13T14:52:00.002+08:00

It's 2010 already and it's almost the middle of January. Some how 2010 did not start the way I pictured it though. First of all there's this so-called-big-issue of using the word "Allah" by the Christians in Malaysia. All my life, I've used this word when singing the gospel in Bahasa, reading it in my bible, listening to preaching and I still don't understand how the ‘other’ religion can be confused. I really don't.
As a Christian, I've been taught to love one another, respect one another regardless of races, religion, age and social standing. Even in hymns, songs, reading materials; never have I come across the word to HATE, to KILL, to BLAME, to LOOK DOWN UPON your fellow human in any of the teaching. So again, how anyone can be confused of which religion are you practising that you can get confuse with using the word 'Allah'.
I've also come to the conclusion that there is no such thing as 1 Malaysia. Not now, not ever so please stop saying the word and singing the bloody song already. People should practise what they preach. The things you say don't follow your action. And there's this saying which is true, “Action speaks louder then words"
I'm so looking forward to second month of February to see what other craps Malaysia is all about and Yeah I was born as a Malaysian but I'm a SARAWAKIAN!.

p/s Only those narrow minded people thinks Sarawakian and Sabahan lives on trees and uses leaves and tree barks as clothes. Now you know how small their brain are, if they have any brain at all.

Good bye 2009, hello 2010

2009-12-14T16:10:00.002+08:00

Wow what a journey, it's already December of 2009. In just less then 15 days, we're going to welcome year 2010. As usual what's my New Year resolution? None what so ever thank you very much. Ever since I was a kid, I wonder why we need a New Year resolution, since the present resolution is not even accomplish by a mile stone. So in short, I haven't truly completed any New Year resolution, ever.
So there's no more new resolution for me, it's better to live life and not to repeat mistakes dot com. There's so much to do but I'm trying not to say I've not enough time, I've 24 hours in a day and I spend around 7 hours sleeping, another 9 hours working so that's 16 hours, so where is the other 8 hours?
Looking back at 2009, am I a better person in the beginning of the year or am I pretty much the same when I reach the end of the year? Not much different isn't it?
It's better to better the present person then trying to be someone new. There's no such thing as a new person. The person is always there, the past can't ever be erased, the past is the essence that makes us like this in the present and thus will also influence us in the future.
I know regretting the past is not doing me any good, so I won't think much of what I've done in the past nor am I going to ponder on what would I've done.
I'm looking forward to spending Christmas with my family and enjoying the holidays with love ones. There's so much I have to thankful for in this life.
So good bye 2009; thanks for the memories; the ups and downs. The challenges that makes me wiser * I hope* and the pain that makes me human.
So to all Merry Christmas and see you next year.

Christmas Mood

2009-12-01T19:22:00.002+08:00

December is here again. Christmas is just round the corner. Well it's almost the end of 2009. What have I accomplished this year? Hmmmm... Let say I've done stuff; good or bad, still none of your business.

A league of their own

2009-10-09T10:23:00.002+08:00

This year I join this club we have in campus for staff welfare. Much to my regret. Now I have to bear the consequences for another year. I don't mind doing all the extra work, I enjoy helping out and doing something new. It shows that I am able to achieve something and I can do anything if I put my mind on it.
I just don't feel nice being around chauvinist and egoistic people, who think they are above others. I'm not a goody-two-shoe but I don't shout nor stick my middle finger at people faces; even though those people are your so 'friend'. I don't see the point in showing other people you dare to scream, shout filthy words. Hell I don't even care how you live your life but at least do all that at your own home, your own time and among your own crowd. I don't know what are you trying to prove? are you saying you got style? you got taste? Well all I know is you got nothing more then trash up your sleeves.
Well enough said.

Bank?

2009-09-25T17:06:00.003+08:00

Sometimes I have a feeling, my family thinks I'm a walking bank. If they need instant cash, just sms me or email me for some. The best part is I have to send the money to their house. Dah la pinjam duit aku, suruh aku gik antar gi rumah...... Iskhhhhhh.....

Life in a box

2009-09-23T17:21:00.002+08:00

I feel very small and tired now. Sometimes all I ever think of are problems, falling like tons of bricks. Sometimes I don't want to be strong but what's there to ask from the good Lord above if not that?
Strength or wisdom is more important? The strength to carry on or the wisdom to seek the comfort I long for?
I'm so tired of being there for everyone and in the end all I get is criticism and ungratefulness. I wonder since when is another person's fault becomes mine?
Before opening your mouth just for the sake of wanting to insult, I rather you think carefully of the words you plan to say, one wrong word will cause you big. Don't judge another just because you're not caught for doing the same thing. Don't look at another person; thinking you're much better them him for truly you're nothing but a hypocrite.
Well that's that and on the bright side, I'll blog about my photo shot in KK during the Raya holidays.

Stop and stare

2009-09-14T15:33:00.002+08:00

My fiance and I had a rather weird day out on Saturday. Since I was hungry and we were in Bintang mall and I'm craving for MarryBrown 's chicken so I don't really care if I'm having dinner at 5.30 p.m.
While savoring my meal, I notice my fiance was eating rather fast, in fact he's actually stuffing his food in his mouth. So I look at him and ask what's his problem? Then he told me to have a look around me. As I look up, I realize I'm surrounded by fasting people. It was a very awkward moment, since we were sitting right in the middle of the restaurant. I can see them looking at us from all side. So I had to stuff my self too so I could get out as fast as possible.
As we stroll along the aisle of the shopping complex, I realize something else, Hey! it was not my fault... Ceh!!!! Buang Masa aku jak makan cam ribut....

Make up your mind....

2009-09-07T16:10:00.002+08:00

How hard is it to make up your mind? huh? Hmmmm... Sometimes I get so fed-up with doing the crap stuffs for people.
There are times when I feel OK with people and there are times when I wish I could beat the craps out of them.
I hope tomorrow is a better day. I better get go for a jog and sweat off all my frustration.
Chao...

Contract sign and seal

2009-08-27T14:26:00.002+08:00

It's almost Merdeka day and I don't feel any patriotic then yesterday. I don't see buildings covered in flags. Well that should tell some people something. If they even notice.
Well I'm finally engage and it seems to shut everyone up for once. Peace and quiet for a while. Now they're hoovering me on the actual date and how come I never show them my fiancee. For obvious reason la kan???
Well now I'm trying to loose some more weight. Doing budgeting is the worst part. Should I spend a lot since it's once in a lifetime event. Or should I keep it to the minimal since the economy is not going any way but down?
I want it the day to be a great and happy even for both of us and our family. So may be spending a bit lavishing should be OK. What say you?

You don't deserve my respect

2009-08-18T14:49:00.002+08:00

You may have the look, the money, and glamour *Bluek* but you have NO MANNERS!!!!! Thank you very much people who regards rules as rubbish that needs to be thrown out the window. Hey I didn't make them but you're abide by them. If you can't follow simple rules and respect older people, then you are truly, absolutely useless.

Happy Birthday Lil Sis..

2009-08-15T14:33:00.002+08:00

Hey Eugenia, it's your birthday. You would have been sweet sixteen today.
How I wish I could see you smile while opening your presents and the shy thank you you'll give when everyone hugs you and wishing you all the best.
Your parents would be beaming with joy looking at you and their chest filled with pride whenever your name is mention with such affection.
They are many things I want to say to you and I hope I can see you once again and tell you how much I've missed you all this years. It has been almost 7 years since you left us. There's never a day that goes by without missing you.
I might not keep that one last promise I made you but I won't forget you on that day. I know you will always be with us and I will see you once again when this life has ended.
So sweet sister, once again Happy Sweet Sixteen till we meet again. I Love you.

Your loving sister

Don't open your mouth

2009-08-10T13:22:00.002+08:00

I finally saw the G.I Joe movie and I love it. It's so easy to guess who's the villain the moment the movie started. The only glitch I had to endure was some busybody who simply have
to do their analyzing of the movie at the top of their lungs. I may be Chinese but I sure hate listening to the language when I'm concentrating. Speaking of chinese, have you ever wonder why do they *here's the part where never tell anyone I'm a chinese* have to talk so loud? any way and every where. I find them rather annoying.
Every time they open their loud mouth in the library; I have this strong urge to strangle them. If I look at other people, some how most of them understand the word, Please be quiet, you're in the library but not these guys and gals.
I wonder, do people tolerate them because of their money or is it because they really deserved to be respected? Most of the time, I think it's because of their money.

Happy Birthday to me

2009-08-05T17:59:00.002+08:00

it's the 5th of August and it's my Birthday. Every year I get the same old question and I'm getting bored of hearing it. How old are you now?? Do I look like a 2 year old ? Of course not. So just give me a present and get lost. :)

Haze is here again

2009-08-04T17:32:00.002+08:00

yes the haze has arrived, I so wish people would be considerate and stop burning to grow your corn or tapioca plant or any plant what so ever. Some people simply never use their brain to think or do they even have one?
Today the campus is surrounded by bush fire and the air is so bad. you can't even see the lake because it's covered with smoke. Don't aspect other people to stop when you are still doing it.
* sneeze*

I sometimes wonder

2009-07-14T09:37:00.002+08:00

Sometimes my mind gets carried away and I'll think of all possibility of failing and I'll get all stress up. AM I doing the right thing? am I going down the right path? am I going nuts?
Am I?? I so wish I could have a clear answer at times but it seem so impossible. Why do we like the word guarantee? Everytime we buy something we always check for guarantee? It's so hard to take something at face value now a days.
How did we make our life so stress and complex? Are we victims of our own Foley?

My perspective

2009-07-06T21:38:00.002+08:00

Now that I'm so close to achieve my dream, I turn out lazy. Not just any kind of lazy I tell you, it's the *gila babi* lazy. I have my mid term next Friday and Saturday and guess what I'm doing? Downloading games. Browsing through my facebook and play barn buddy.
It's only 2 more semester bah and I'm so lazy already. I've finish all my Hard papers *well to me they're hard* and now I only have those papers I can *goreng* left.
When I think back, I'm proud of myself. I had doubt in myself when I realize what I've done actually. I have learn to manage my work, my relationship, my study and still have a life and survive.Well shows what we can actually achieve when we set our mind on it.
This might not be the end but it sure is a pleasure to finally see where I'm going in life. It's never to late to do anything you want. I've proved it to myself. Don't do things to make others happy but do it to make you happy.
My next goal is to shed some excess baggage I've accumulated through out the years. I have some important weddings to attend and I don't intend to look like a stuffed pig again. The power walk is really good, not only it helps me control my weight but also helps me to go to sleep.
I'm planning to end another chapter of my life in the near future but no rush, I'm not the kind that steal another person's thunder. My mom used to sing a beautiful hymn and it goes something like this;

(One day at a time sweet Jesus)

I'm only human
I'm just a woman
Help me believe, what I could be
And all that I am
Show me the stairway
I have to climb
Lord for my sake
Teach me to take
One day at a time

One day at a time sweet Jesus
That's all I'm askin' from You
Just give me the strength
To do every day
What I should do
Yesterday's gone sweet Jesus
Tomorrow may never be mine
Lord help me today
Show me the way
One day at a time

Do You remember
When You walked among men
Jesus You know
If You're lookin' below
It's worse now than then
Cheatin' and stealin'
Violence and crime
So for my sake
Teach me to take
One day at a time

One day at a time sweet Jesus
That's all I'm askin' from You
Just give me the strength
To do every day
What I should do
Yesterday's gone sweet Jesus
Tomorrow may never be mine
Lord help me today
Show me the way
One day at a time...

This one of the most beautiful song ever written and sang. It reminds me why I'm doing all this and be humble when I've achieved my goal.
Well that was kind of random and heck; I'm always random.

Oppsss....

2009-06-26T14:46:00.002+08:00

Well I bet a lot of people are blogging about the death of Micheal Jackson and Farrah Fawcett, especially Micheal Jackson. I'm not going to write about how great they both are or how huge were their contribution to the music industry. Everybody knows that.
The facts that sadden me are; why do we say our appreciation to a person when they're already dead? When they were alive, most of the things we read about them are their flaws. Why couldn't we say how much we appreciate them for all the things they have done? For the amazing music they have given us and the great movies they have made.
We always say life is short but do we really know how short are short? We put off what we can do today, hoping that we're able to do it tomorrow? But how do we know, we're going to live tomorrow?
Today I hardly hear sarcasm on Micheal Jackson, nothing, not even about his nose or his skin colour. It is sad when most of the time, those people seems to think its fun to circulate the jokes about him. Now all I hear are words of praise and regrets. Well he's not going to hear those words now. Praises and appreciation should be said to a person when he's alive and able to understand them. A dead man can't hear you.
In Malaysia it's even weirder; the artist won't be appreciated unless he or she is dead! Don't believe me? Well P. Ramli got his title after he died; many years ago. How many people become a 'Datuk' then "Tan Sri" after death? I bet after this many of the veteran artists; whose contributions are under appreciated will get their recognition after they have passed on.
Oh well, we won't be call Malaysian unless we're weird.

The better person?

2009-06-24T18:09:00.002+08:00

I don't know if I should be mad or simply ignore this particular person. Thinking back we have such long history together and there may be much heartache but there were some good memories as well. Oh well I'll let by gone be by gone. There's no point in thinking all night' plots on how to tumble him down, since he seems to be doing it all on his own. Like I always say, what goes around comes around and GOD is fair and just.
When I look down inside my heart, I find no more hatred nor do I forgive him. * I'm just human ma..* But I hope he'll one day learn to humble himself and accept the fact that he's not perfect; make that not even near the word good enough even. Don't aspect the world to bow down to you just because you bear your father's name.
I truly hope that he knows that by making up excuses after excuses and hurting so many people along the way he's making a fool of himself. The mouth can talk but the eyes sees right to the soul of a person. You can hide behind all those excuses but what the ears may hear doesn't change what the eyes sees and what the heart felt.
Before I close this chapter of my life and start another one, I hope all the best for you and what ever happens in the past shall remain there.

Goodbye

2009-06-19T09:32:00.002+08:00

During high school we have this particular maths teacher, Mr Yong. I used to loath him because I hate maths. Hehehe, I know very unreasonable but as teenagers since when are we ever reasonable?
I just found out he passed away last year due to lung cancer. I just want to say something that's long over due to him.
I'm sorry Mr Yong for all those stupid jokes we like to play on you. It must have hurt you a lot when we prefer to talk instead of listening to you in class. I'm so sorry for always laughing at you when you tried to speak BM.
I wish I could say to you right now how sorry I am for all the disrespectful things I've said and done all those years.
If I'm given a chance I would have the courage to say sorry and thank you for being so patient with me through out all my maths classes all those years before.
Rest in peace.

"kruak" is a bird....

2009-06-15T16:33:00.003+08:00

My post has nothing to do with 'Kruak' what so ever. It's Monday and as usual it's the most boring day of the week. Whenever Monday comes, it means the beginning of something? so why should it be boring? When Friday arrive, we jump up for joy but it also marks the end of something right? We don't like the beginning but we enjoy the ending? Oh yeah human is definitely weird.
And I'm just a human being so I have to be weird. Hah!
*yawn... what a long day*

Stop and stare

2009-06-14T16:00:00.002+08:00

Why is it so hard for some people to understand simple rules? And when they know they can't do certain things at certain place during certain time but still doing it? Just because they have paid certain amount of money to study in a private institution of higher learning then they have to show off and treat people like craps?
Hey I'm not a poor person but neither am I a rich one too but I do know what my limitations are. Whenever I used a public toilet, I flash it after usage. I don't aspect the cleaners to do so. They are cleaners not your personal servant.
People created rubbish bin for one sole reason and that is to dispose rubbish. It is not to beautify a room or to add a certain look to the atmosphere of the room. It's for you to throw your rubbish in.
If I clean my nose, or face or anything with a tissue, I don't put the tissue on the table and aspect it to fly on their own into the rubbish bin. I need miracles in life and that is not one of them.
Put your bag in the locker please meaning; put your bag in the locker, not on the sofa, table, counters or anywhere that's not a locker.
The words DON’T mean DON’T; it carries no other hidden meaning. It's direct and easy to pronounce. But why is it so hard for some people to understand the words DON’T.
No food and drinks in the premise; meaning don't eat and drink in here, If you're hungry and you find studying without food in your mouth is boring well you can always study at home. Free flow of food and drinks and you can even talk as loud as you want.
Oh when will people grow up? Sometimes I'm so afraid of having kids of my own incase they turn out to be idiots like those I deal with nearly everyday.

Random people do random things?

2009-06-10T12:57:00.002+08:00

Sorry dear neglected blog of mine, it's all the deconexxion faults (The buduh wiFi) that I can't update you as often as I wanted to.
Ok That was very random. Usually I hate exercises of any form, I feel they're cramping my lifestyle, Yeah the lazy-sleep all I want-and-wake up-when-I'm hungry life style. So last month I finally went to jog around a pond some where near my house. Well let say it does feel great to sweat a little.
Other then that everything is pretty much the same.

I'm On my way

2009-06-03T13:08:00.002+08:00

I'm on my way to somewhere, I don't know where exactly but I'm almost there.
I'm talking craps because I'm bored and I'm sick of listing out conference papers. Weird names and even weirder papers.

Life goes on

2009-05-28T20:00:00.002+08:00

Which do you think is harder? Put on a smile on your face even though your heart is screaming murder and pretend you're Ok with everything and everyone? or just blast out what really bothers you? Well I've come to accept that we're living in a world full of hypocrisy.
If say you're not one then you're lying through your teeth. You can deny it for all I care but reality is staring at you in the face. If you're not a hypocrite, you can't have your work done, you won't be in a good term with your in laws, you won't be at where you're now even.
Those who dares to be true are those whom people slender. Well just stop and ponder, say to my face I'm wrong. Those sweet talks are always the two-edged sword that stabs your very being.
For every honest answer you give, how many white lies have you utter? Can you swear you never talk behind your best friend's back? laughing at her and not with her?
Are you really happy with what you have for the sole reason of being able to achieved it on your own and not being given a push by someone else?
Oh well don't bother about my babbling, I'm bored and the cold temperature is freezing my brain. Ok over and out for today.

My time

2009-05-27T15:50:00.004+08:00

When is actually the right time? Whenever someone ask me about something that I myself is not sure of the right answer, I'll always say "When the time is right".
Whenever I sense a cliche question coming my way, I'm ready with the ultimate answer: "When the time is right". Safe and simple, direct to the point and no hassle.
Since Gawai is just round the corner, I would like to wish my dayak friends : "Selamat hari gawai, gayu guru gerai nyamai, Lantang senang"

It's already middle of the year

2009-05-25T17:57:00.004+08:00

Oh boy! I just realize it's the middle of the year. Time do fly fast. I need to do some slowing down and pause just to see what have I achieved so far. Well nothing spectacular but not bad either. I have my share of ups and downs. I'm still struggling at not to aspect too much of people around me. It's so hard for a perfectionist to just accept an OK not bad, or it's sufficient enough. I want everything to be at my expectation. Not good at all. I know what I need, I need a holiday. Yes I should take a break from everything and just enjoy the moment.
Yeah life's too short be planning so many things at once, so I guess I'll just take whatever comes my way and do the best I can. Laugh while I still can, eat while my cholesterol is still allows m to pig myself, make jokes while people still think I'm funny and let tomorrow think for himself.
Right now I'm thinking of those delicious Big Apple doughnuts *the latest weird Mirian trends* and watching the sunset. I miss the smell of the sea breeze and the sound of the waves splashing on the rocks. I used to imagine the mermaids and mermen watching me from behind the rocks and hoping that one day I would catch a handsome one. * That's what happened when one is made to watch the Mermaid for the million times when babysitting*
Sometimes too much thinking is not good for a person's health. You'll get way too much grey hairs before your time and wrinkles looking like the sand dunes on Sahara.
I think I'll kick back my shoes and laze around for a while during this Gawai festival.

Another day

2009-05-21T14:54:00.004+08:00

One of the hardest emotion for me to over come is disappointment. I simply love to set a high standard for myself and things that are passionate to me. Every time I'm disappointed I get frustrated. Every time this happens I promise myself, I won't cry. I won't shed,not even a single tear. But some how, right now I feel like crying cause KRIS ALLEN won American idol.
Sob..sob..sob...Why?? Why?? Why??
Danny should have been in the finals, I don't care if Adam is the best singer, I truly think Kris songs are boring just like him.
And is anyone calls me or text me about Kris winning American Idol, That person will die a slowly but painful death! *Yes Aaron, I mean you*

My life ain't yours.. Get your own

2009-05-15T17:45:00.004+08:00

I do get pissed-off whenever some people simply love to tell me to do this and that for them or for myself. I don't mind helping out but ordering me around like a 'kuli-kang' is a no-no.
Like I've said over and over again through out the years, single doesn't mean I'm always free. I do have a life you know.
Don't simply sms me and order me around. Don't just call me on my cell phone and start accusing me of stuff I don't know. I don't care if you have children and you're busy; for the record I did not volunteer to handle any projects OK! Next time if you just need to volunteer and make a name for yourself, count me out.
Want to be glamorous, do it the hard way. Work your ass off like everyone else. I don't do any dirty jobs for anyone even though they are relations. I'm not your door mat as well. I'm not deaf so don't do the high pitching tone on me *I'm just ignoring you*
Hey even my mom don't order me around that much.

Hint.. Hint.. get it?

2009-05-14T18:11:00.003+08:00

I made up a theory after watching some students in the library. Usually half and hour before closing, I'll do my usual round, placing all the chairs back to their place, switch off the lights and air-conditioning etc etc.. If the students are 'boys', they'll look at the clock on the wall and start keeping their stuff and clearing the place. I don't have to utter a single word. However, if the students are 'girls'. Even if they see me placing all the tables, chairs back to place. switched off the PCs and lights, they won't budged. Then I have to say "We're closing soon".
So do women only know how to give hints but unable to read one?

Life as it is...

2009-05-11T17:00:00.002+08:00

I'm so trying to get rid of all this tires around my waist. I'm doing it by exercising. Yes you heard me, exercise. Today I woke up early to send my boo back. After he hopped on the ferry, I head to Jumbo and did some power walking.
After walking for half and hour, I can feel the sun scotching on me. I quickly dive into my car and headed home to shower. Tomorrow I'm going before 7 a.m so I can walk longer without turning to an 'Ikan Masin'.
Well since we're not getting any younger, so why not get healthier? No more fad diets. Yeah you can loose all the weights but keeping them off without exercising is hoping for a lump of ice will not melt in your hand.
I'm done doing it to please my mom, this time I'm doing it to please me.

Hey mom

2009-05-08T09:56:00.003+08:00

Hey mom,
Mother's day is just round the corner. I know I seldom tell you how important you are to me. Through out the years, we almost never things eyes to eyes. I've always been your biggest challenged of all your kids. I inherited your spunk and your determination *not to mention your under-height as well* No matter what I do, you're the person I measure myself to.
Sometimes I think your hawk eyes can see my very thoughts and penetrates my soul. I used to loathe being your daughter; now I can't think of anyone being my mom except you.
Who I am now is all because of you. I can hold my head high because I'm your daughter. Every compliment I received is a compliment to you. Every value I have, i got them from you. I swelled with pride if people say look like you, well the 'short' part still bother me irritatingly :).
I hope I could be as strong and poise as you mom. I want to be able to see the great things in life even when the odds are against me. I pray to have my belief as true as yours.
I never told you how proud I am of you.
So mom "Happy Mother's Day to you"

Love your ever so stubborn daughter

Me, the rain & the umbrella

2009-05-04T16:52:00.002+08:00

Smokes and haze is all I can say about Miri now a days and this morning, finally it rain...oh glorious rain came falling down and yes my car was clean till now. When I reached the office, I tried to pull my umbrella from the side of the sit *I thought I was smart when I put it there* and the bloody thing won't move. Then I got out of the car and open the back door and start pulling the umbrella, still it won't move. Needless to say, I was already wet so I decided to just leave the umbrella in the car and walk across the parking lot to the main building. Did I mention I love to park at the very end-corner of the parking lot!
Oh what a great way to start the week.

Alone again

2009-05-02T21:55:00.002+08:00

My mom went to Kuching yesterday and daddy went to Bintulu just now with my bro Andes and his family. I missed them. I hate travelling when I'm not feeling well so I'm staying home and trying to savour the peace and quietness. I'm constantly eating and all I do is browse through the TV channel the whole day.
I want to go out but the weather is so dayyem hot. Boring me bah......................*walking towards the fridge*

i

I'm looking forward to...

2009-04-28T17:50:00.003+08:00

I'm not so busy now and with some times in hand, why not drop a few lines in my blog said I. I prefer the reading and silent laugh now a days since I can't talk in my usual louder then life voice. Every time I open my mouth, all I hear is this irritating squeaky voice.
I have to choose my food carefully too. No oily food; meaning no fried chicken; meaning no KFC!. No hot and spicy food; meaning No eatable food*..Waaaa..waaaa... sob...sob....*No chillies, No asam laksa.* yeah I know I sound like I've been deprived of food and yes I am* It's always porridge. I'm kind of sick eating baby food here. I want to sink my teeth in some BBQ pork! Hot & Spicy KFC, fried chillies with anchovies and belacan. There I've said it.

Pain..Pain go away

2009-04-25T10:29:00.002+08:00

I truly hate being sick and I mean it from the bottom of my heart. I had the usual Ala-ca rte cough, fever, deprived of sleep!and All yang sewaktu dgn nya.

*Edited*
Due to extreme coughing, I now sound like a barking nothing-to-do dog. The weather change due to open burning and humidity is not helping a bit. I so wish people would be more considerate and be more aware of the climate issue the world is facing now. Some how, I don't see many Malaysian bother about the whole stuff. No one bother to recycle, you can check the recycle bins and see all sorts of things in there.
Some how when there’s catastrophe later, they some how find it's so easy blaming the western countries. "It's all America's fault!! Or it’s the Israelites who have done this!!"... A%^&*(* stup#@@ people. They never put the blame on themselves but it's always someone Else's fault.
Since I'm on a roll here, why don't we talk about the open burning; it's widely well known in Sarawak. To clear the land for plantation purposes, the easiest way to do it is to burn the grass, and small trees. They will do the same thing year after year. This is where I agree to break tradition. Some how along the Miri-Bintulu coastal road, I see stretch of palm oils and guess to whom they belongs to? Hmmm... Any true Sarawakian knows him well. Back to my point, HE allows open burning so he could have more land. Stup*&&^%$$# Bast%$$#@d!

Tear drops

2009-04-16T17:55:00.003+08:00

Nothing you say right now will make me feel better. So shut up already.

Are you there?

2009-04-15T18:00:00.005+08:00

There's so many things in life I want to do but procrastination always gets the better of me. I want to be eat healthy. I want to exercise. I'll pamper my nails. There are all my sweet, sweet dreams and the moment I open my eyes, Poof! all gone. The older I get, the lazier I become.
Sometimes I wonder is that me looking at myself in the mirror. Where's that active girl who could juggle work, sports and other activities daily without having back pain, migraines and etc. I wonder if she's still there, hidden under those layer of skin and cellulite.
Knock..knock.. Hey you? still there? It's time to come out of hibernation.

Why??

2009-04-14T18:16:00.005+08:00

ER : Che che do you still remember that song, kids used to sing when it rain?

NH : Errrr.. which?

ER : the one with the rain in it.

NH: Hmmm.. rain rain go away...?

ER: Ya that one.

NH: Why?

ER: How to sing it again?

NH: Look at the sky and the drizzling rain.. Hmmmmm.. should I?

ER: Che che......

NH: "rain rain go away, come again another day, rain rain go to Spain, Lil Ezrah wants to play:

KABOOM!!!! goes the thunder and the rain keeps falling down, heavier then before. Then flashes of lightnings were seen and the thunders roll louder and scarier. And yes people, I will never sing again especially that song.

I ain't fast but I'm furious...

2009-04-08T09:46:00.005+08:00

My Boo and I went to the cinema to catch the Fast and Furious movie. WELL all I can say is; IT'S the best of them all. It's more about driving skills rather then cars. Vin Diesel is so scrumptious in it as well. Hehehehe... I'm a huge fan of the 'Fast and Furious movies'. I love cars and fast driving as well. Imagine me sitting at the edge of the seat * yeah the sit was not comfortable, hehehe.. I kid you not* and going uuuuuu... ahhhhhh.. ooooooo with all the guys around me.
On the way home, my significant other keeps on teasing me about my excitement of fast cars. " Yang, no wonder I sometimes see a Kelisa driving around like a CLK" he said. "Maok kenak karate budak tok kali" I thought while imagining myself in that car with Vin Diesel hot on the wheel. LOL.. well at least he didn't know I was thinking bout it.
I'm not going to spill the beans so go watch it yourself. It's worth all that 'kaching', trust me :)

Saja-saja bah... cute kan?

So kanasai

2009-04-03T17:19:00.002+08:00

Today I see people rushing around, some are busy getting this and that last minute thingy’s done and some are busy trying to look busy so they will look good in the eyes of the Big bosses. Since I'm not that busy, I just sit in my chair and watch em busy people rushing around *Ada juak best kenak jeling some people kan?*. Most will be dropping by to borrow this and that and at the end of the day, the person rushing around looking for all those borrowed stuff will be my friends and I in this pity lil department whom nobody bothers about. Then you'll hear the 1000 alasan some will give you.. *Ada I pinjam kah? sik tauk ku koh? Why don't you call bla..bla.. amboi-amboi best nyer lepas tangan yer*
The only time people remembers us is when they need that small little favour and suddenly you're everyone’s best friend. Oh I get this all the time, " Hey you.... bla..bla.. Eh you look nice? Great outfit.. Nice hair.. And it ends with Can you help me with....?"
In spite of the busy schedule everyone’s having this week, we just do our normal thingy. *Orang pandang kita sebelah mata; so kita tutup mata ler* What respond should we have when some one tells you, "Can we borrow this and that.. And oh.. You were supposed to be call for the meeting but we forgot about you guys... Ah WTF!! Good also kan? tak ler sibok-sibok running here and there and in the end, tak di appreciate org pun*

Watchmen

2009-03-31T17:26:00.004+08:00

A quick review of the latest movie I've watched. WATCHMEN, it could have been a great movie, IF I concentrate hard but it was not easy. There were some students in from a uni here sitting behind me. I knew most of them though, very annoying bunch. *OK I said to myself, it's a free country. Then the talking started as if they own the cinema, then they laugh not giggle, then the answering of the phone as if they are the only people in there. I was this closed to throw my popcorn on them to shut them up*.
Back to my review, like I said it could have been a great movie. great effects but it's not the usual superhero movie we usedto watch. The heroes are just like ordinary people, with the same feeling of insecurity and they are not that untouchable. The movie shows the other side of human nature, the greedy side, the side that thinks power is everything. Everything is OK as long as you have the money and influence to do so.
Everything we see in the world today is almost the same; everyone no longer holds the same sentiment our forefathers used to be proud of. It shows a nation who don't believe in the essence of God. The destiny of human lies in those who have the extra power that others don't possess and that is intelligent.
Why do we need intelligent when our mind is control by greed?
In short. the movie is all about thoughts, feeling and for those who think using their skull should not watch this movie, ever * Those dumb A&&^^%%$ sitting behind me the whole time should have choose other movie to watch since they don't own a brain*

So What! I don't believe you

2009-03-25T16:10:00.003+08:00

Na na na na na na
Na na na na na
Na na na na na na
Na na na na na

I guess I just lost my husband
I don't know where he went
So I'm gonna drink my money
I'm not gonna pay his rent (nope)
I've got a brand new attitude, and I'm gonna wear it tonight
I'm gonna get in trouble
I wanna start a fight

Na na na na na
I wanna start a fight
Na na na na na
I wanna start a fight

[chorus]
So, so what I'm still a rock star
I got my rock moves
And I don't need you
And guess what
I'm havin more fun
And now that were done
I'm gona show you tonight
I'm alright
I'm just fine
And you're a tool so
So what
I am a rock star
I got my rock moves
And I don't want you tonight

Unh Check my flow Uohhh

The waiter just took my table and gave it to Jessica Simps (Shit!)
I guess Ill go sit with drum boy at least hell know how to hit (Oops)
What if this flops on the radio, then somebodys gonna die! haha
I'm going to get in trouble, my ex will start a fight

Na na na na
He's gonna to start a fight
Na na na na
We're all gonna to get into a fight

[chorus]
So, so what I'm still a rock star
I got my rock moves
And I don't need you
And guess what
I'm havin more fun
And now that were done
I'm gona show you tonight
I'm alright
I'm just fine
And you're a tool so
So what
I am a rock star
I got my rock moves
And I don't want you tonight

You weren't fair
You never were
You want it all but that's not fair
I gave you life
I gave my all
You weren't there, you let me fall

[chorus]
So, so what I'm still a rock star
I got my rock moves
And I don't need you
And guess what
I'm havin more fun
And now that were done
I'm gona show you tonight
I'm alright
I'm just fine
And you're a tool so
So what
I am a rock star
I got my rock moves
And I don't want you tonight

No no
No no, I don't want you tonight
You weren't there
I'm gona show you tonight
I'm alright
I'm just fine
And you're a tool so
So what
I am a rock star
I got my rock moves
And I don't want you tonight

ba da da da pffftt

I DON'T BELIEVE YOU

I don’t mind it
I don’t mind at all
It’s like you’re the swing set
And I’m the kid that falls
It’s like the way we fight
The times I’ve cried
We come to blows
And every night
The passion’s there
So it’s got to be right
Right?

No I don’t believe you
When you say don’t come around here no more
I won’t remind you
You said we wouldn’t be apart
No I don’t believe you
When you say you don’t need me anymore
So don’t pretend to
Not love me at all

I don’t mind it
I still don’t mind at all
It’s like one of those bad dreams
When you can’t wake up
Looks like you’ve given up
You’ve had enough
But I want more
No I won't stop
'Cause I just know
You’ll come around
Right?

No I don’t believe you
When you say don’t come around here no more
I won’t remind you
You said we wouldn’t be apart
No I don’t believe you
When you say you don’t need me anymore
So don’t pretend to
Not love me at all

Just don’t stand there and watch me fall
'Cause I, 'cause I still don’t mind at all

It’s like the way we fight
The times I’ve cried
We come to blows
And every night
The passion's there
So it’s got to be right,
Right?

No I don’t believe you
When you say don’t come around here no more
I won’t remind you
You said we wouldn’t be apart
No I don’t believe you
When you say you don’t need me anymore
So don’t pretend to
Not love me at all

I don’t believe you

I love Pink don't you? * yes I mean the singer* I love her attitude, I love her style and i love her voice, unique and she can sing dayyem good songs.

Listening to nothing

2009-03-25T11:40:00.003+08:00

I did not sleep well all last night and hence waking up with all my pillows all over the floor. I still have 1 more nights before I see the doctor about my ear. He gave me some ear drops on Monday and told me to put 5 drops in my ear before I sleep then after 3 days I'm to see him again.
it's such excruciating painful 3 days. This is just Wednesday so i have to go through one more sleepless night before I can get this disgusting wax out of my ears.
* So sakit bah...sob..sob..*

Just a thought

2009-03-23T16:22:00.003+08:00

Have you ever encounter funny friends who comes and out of your life like a hurricane? I have this one friend who seem to fall off the face of the earth all of a sudden. Did I offended you in some way? I don't know, well what's there to say, human are weird species. They change all of a sudden for the weirdest reason.
This close friend threw me over for a girl. Adeh.. What kah? Sometimes when I sit and think about my life, my ups and downs, I can't help thinking of my friends. Sometimes we say we don't care but deep down we do care. But no matter what,It's not my fault that your girl think I'm a threat. I don't even know who that mysterious girl is? hmmm.. Bodo juak orang tok oh?
I have a guy in my life right now too and I still keep my friends close, guys or gals. I don't get the jealous type la. If I'm out to get your guy, dah lama dah I kebas pok!.. buduh!"

Then this other friend also one of a kind, suddenly hilang then when I saw him online, 'm being ignore but what the heck. It's your life, I'm just a passer by.
*cali juak..* I have enough craps to deal daily so adding you won't do me any good. so see ya..

In with the new out with the old

2009-03-21T10:51:00.000+08:00

So what do you think of my new page?? ok huh?? *of course I download it* I'm not a-must-be-original-person when it comes to making my own page. *yes! I need help as well.. Thanks Yung..*

I'm trying so hard to finish reading my books since exam is just round the corner. How could they cramp 3 exams in 2 days? I wonder is my hair falling down like dog fur a result of the huge stress I'm feeling most of the time.
I wish time flies fast sometimes and then I want it to go slow or just stop. Iskh! I simply cannot make up my mind. What's with human and their 'want..want..want................' Right now all I want is to sleep. So bye...

Being Me

2009-03-19T11:58:00.006+08:00

I need to exercise I said to myself. So I went swimming with Eunice and after that end up eating at KFC.. Haiya.. Better stay home and sleep kan?

See How lost I am now?

A summary

2009-03-13T18:08:00.000+08:00

Well I've been neglecting my blog for a while now but not without reason, I've been very busy and still is. It has been a hectic week, nope make that month for me. Work, class, assignments, laziness, procrastination, etc.. I even went to Bintulu for a short break, visiting family and friends. Eating of course is always lurking round the corner.
I wonder sometimes how I manage all this hectic life of mine; well all I can say is, "only God knows". All the wisdom and strength I get it from HIM, honestly and all the sarcasm, I get that from mom.
3 weeks to go for my finals for this semester and 3 more semester to go... Yeepieee... Then I'm free.. Still a long way to go so fingers all cross. I have to finish what I've started.. and I know I'm so random but oh well... It's Friday and I think I'll drop by PM tonight, I haven't been there for ages. Munch on some 'Apam Balik' and 'Teh Tarik Peng' sound so yummy right now, I feel like chewing Carol's pen.
Ok enough rubbish talking for today. Have a great weekend now!

How la?

2009-02-20T15:26:00.006+08:00

I only use this, period! I've been using them for a long long time. I hate glasses of any kind. But alas, there's time when the eyes are tired and get irritated and infected, which is my case by dust! dayyem! *Rajin susah, malas pun susah.*
So I have no choice but to turn to my glasses. But what happen if a huge but adorable ass like 'moi' sat on em glasses? Yup you're right.

Now I present my glasses. As of now, I'm literally blind as a bat. I thought the attendant at the clinic was the doctor and only realized the person talking to me was actually behind me *I thought the doctor was so kind and came to open the door for me.. eeeee... so malu....*

Doc: Oh you have an infection alright but how come you come so late to see me?
Me: Err.. I was busy.
Doc: No contact lenses for at least a week OK. I'll give you some drops for the eyes and you must used it and don't rub your eyes. *I was about to give them a quick rub*
Me: Heh.. OK.

So open my purse, count my money, then looked at the calender, another &$%@!, it's still far from pay day. So how la??? sob..sob..

Are you serious?

2009-02-18T14:39:00.003+08:00

I'm not a huge fan on politics but I do listen and read about it from time to time for knowledge purposes. It's good to know what goes round in our country. The latest story that caught my attention is the Elizabeth Wong case *I'm not going to say from which state.. In case someone comes and Lucut my kerakyatan later..oppsss...*
I'm so disgusted with the kind of politics that stoop that low for the sake of power craze. I don't care who you are BUT no one should have the right to snoop around and takes picture of a person sleeping,and in their own home some more. I don't care how people sleep, 'Tonggang Tebalik ker? with or without clothes ker?. It's what I've always believe; MY PREROGATIVE!. MY rights as a FREE human being.
If anyone thinks they have such right to question how I sleep, they better think again. I don't care whoyou're but you better be careful. Heh!! I'm shocked! Here's a single a lady, sleeping naked in her own house and some peeping tom think they have the rights to snap pictures of her and showed it to the whole nation. They even label her as "Having no moral?" Now correct me if I'm wrong, who is the one without moral here? The peeping tom or the people who thinks they have the rights to circulate those pictures around? I thought a person's home is their sanctuary.
I so hope people have better things to do then making fools of themselves. There's Hell to pay for making fol of a Woman. We may look gentle and helpless but once angered, you better know where to fled and hide. God forgives but I'll tear you to pieces before I even talk to you.

Appreciate what you have now

2009-02-16T14:22:00.002+08:00

I had quite a weekend last week. I had an OK time during Valentine's day since I get to celebrate it with Kiroro dearest. We went for dinner and movies later. Since we can't watch movie often now, so we watched 2 movies that night. It's not the Valentine that I expected but when I think about it, I'm not sure what kind of Valentine did I really want.
Did you ever have that kind of thought? You want something that you're not sure of. I know, I'm asking a bit too much; well may be way to much. I feel neither over the top bursting with joy or sad and frustrated. May be it's because It's not the usual cliche's Valentines I usually celebrate with others. No cuddly stuffed toys or bouquet of sweet fragrant flowers. All I had was his time enduring my weird quirks and mood swings. So which is more important? The presents or the efforts to please you? Yeah knowing us unique creation of God, we want it all and we won't settle for anything less.
Then came Sunday, in the midst of being frustrated with HIM going for a course, I had a frantic SMS saying one of my dear friend was hospitalized. When I visited her at the hospital, I saw the look in her husband's face. A look that goes without saying. She was his everything. He didn't complaint about the damaged of his new proton Perdana. he didn't even complaint about not having enough sleep or even being hungry. All he said was, he's thankful that his wife is safe.
I felt like kicking myself. There I stood, thinking of what was the reason of me being angry with Kiroro. All I thought of was him going and me being left behind *Biasalah Merajuk sik ada modal agik bah* He did nor deserved to be treated like that, no matter what mood swings I'm having. Sorry love. *Sob..sob.. drama lok... *

Wish I was Garfield

2009-02-09T14:58:00.008+08:00

When ever I'm thinking of something and I can't bring my sarcasticself to say them out loud, all I could think off is "Ishkkkhhhh...issss... eeeeee... ummmmmm.. heh!". That's why I love Garfield. Everytime I see my favourite cat I so wish in my heart I'm him.. *well not in size or...eerrr..eh you know what I mean.*

The times when I get pissed with the pc I'm using. Oh what bliss to be able to do this to it. 'Wham!! Biss!! Wham!!! Bisss..Tonk Boink! Fheww.. that would feel so great"

The times when I wish I could bashed up someone when they annoy me to the max. I wonder If I could get away with it? Ok who wants to be the first? Volunteer please if not it's cast lot!

The feeling I have at times, all bolted up for the sake of 'Peace'. Sometimes I do wonder if we live in a world full of Hypocriscy.

Think, ponder, think some more, ponder some more. Oh well What can I say. We live in a world full of *$%^&$#@!*

Rain rain go away

2009-02-05T17:04:00.003+08:00

Rain rain go away,

come again when it's getting way to hot to bear,

Rain rain go to anywhere that needs you to stay,

I want to go home and I don't an umbrella you hear.

Of course it's a song, some sort but who cares. I'm sick of this weather. I miss the sun. *Oh I'm such a drama queen* I'm having headaches due to walking in the rain all the time. *Yes I have an umbrella, BUT it's in the other car, and YES it's the car we left in Kuching*
Ok enough ranting.. I want to go home and watch the new 'KNIGHT RIDER' ohhhhh!!!! that car is so "HOT!"

Live simple

2009-02-03T17:38:00.036+08:00

I'm not a photographer but I enjoy beautiful pictures, I'm not a philosopher as well but I do agree with most of them. I'm not a pastor so I don't preach. I'm just an ordinary person trying to remind myself from time to time what are my priorities and what's more important then monetary and being a perfectionist. There are times when I get tense about things which I thought are important and from time to time I'll get some gentle reminder of who is more important and where I should place all my worries.

Then it's a time to take a step back and enjoy the blessings which I tend to take for granted. The humble soul does know when it should rest and give out a grateful sigh.

The holiday; the rain

2009-02-02T14:44:00.002+08:00

I went to Kuching for the Chinese New Year Holidays. To summarize the whole two weeks of my holiday: IT RAIN THE WHOLE DAY! EVERY DAY!..
So we didn't want to take the risk of driving back to Miri and I did the next best thing, take the plane back. Hence I thought I was smart. The weather was real bad and the plane made me into a mushy milk shake. By the time I landed my feet on the ground, the urged to kiss the dayyam ground was sooooooo ... close.. Heh!! *I manage to refrain myself.. phewww*

But I did enjoy myself with his family, *dah ku sik paham bahasa so I mostly smile and agree to everything.*, no stress *well except for the rain* , No noisy cars and I had the glorious peaceful sleep *Acara wajip*

Change for the better? or worst?

2009-01-09T11:08:00.003+08:00

When ever I hear this word either being said to me or others I get a bit annoyed. All my life I've been nag by mummy dearest with the word 'Change'. Be a better person, more this, more that.. bla..bla..and more bla.. usually they falls on deaf ears. I've always believe I'm me and by telling me to my face will not get you the result you hope for. It would probably cause a huge explosion to your face. Hehehe...

But as time goes by, I do change in my own course , at my own time, at my own will. I wish in my younger days I have more encouragement and understanding. So as I look at my younger cousins, and when their parents tell them off or being quiet sharp with them, I do feel sad for them. Don't get me wrong, being a strict parent is a must, that I totally agree. Just be more understanding of our lack of judgement and most of the time lack of self confident is the key here.

I actually have more encouragement from my friends through out my whole life. It's much easier to talk to them then my own parents and even siblings.

Oh well I did turn up alright in the end, "fingers cross, Hopefully". So should we change or just be our self, whatever that means...

It's 2009 already

2009-01-05T13:34:00.002+08:00

Wow what a year 2008 was, full of dramas, chaos, fun, stress; just say it we have gone through them all. It started OK and ended well, can't complaint much bout that now right?
So how did I burst into 2009? yup by forgetting to renew my driving licence! of all things; my driving licence! Did I mention I'm back to work as well? oh yes to a desk full off work and shelves of books doing mega supermodel poses *Nang semua tonggang tebalit buku ku..ishhkkkk...*
I'm focusing on finishing all my work before the new semester commence and It's going to be a busy month for me. Beside working off my A&&, I need to work on the 3kg of fats I accumulated during my 3 weeks holidays *Arrgghhh... good food plus lots of times on my hands*
I've missed some great opportunities last year and looking forward to more coming my way this year. There so many tasks I've set for myself and seeking guidance from the great Lord above to help me go through them. I think 2009 is going to be a great year for me. Like they say good things comes to those who seek them.

Goodbye 2008 and Hello 2009

2008-12-12T13:21:00.003+08:00

This is going to be my last entry for 2008. It has been long since I've wrote something in my humble blog. I have been quite busy lately. Exams finished, work still coming in But I'm off to Pa' Mada on Sunday... Hehehehehe... My mum and Agan is going too. Agan and I will be flying to Bario first, I've not been to Bario since dinosaur years.
I'm looking forward to the trip and I know there's going to be lots of excitements and memorable events coming my way.
No worries, I'm coming back before Christmas and I'm celebrating it with all my family and hopefully with YOU too.
2008 came and go, some of us change for the better and some just prefer to remain the same. It's not the time to point fingers at who's right or wrong but it's a time for celebration. When the Sun still shine on us, it means there's still hope.
All the best and see you in 2009.

MERRY CHRISTMAS & A BLESSED NEW YEAR everyone...

p/s Congratulation Sylvia@Tunggau on your engagement today 12.12.2008.

What a pity

2008-11-20T09:15:00.006+08:00

Change is good for some and is a disaster zone for others. It's almost at the end of 2008 and I'm already looking forward to 2009.
The end of another era and the beginning of a new dawn. What am I looking forward to again? *scratch..scratch...*Hmmm.. A friend's wedding, Birth of another nephew or niece, another birthday, welcoming a new colleague * a huge probability*
So what have I learned this year? Never get involved with stupid activities. Never ever again. Now and forever!!! * Rubbing my sore leg and butt*

I want to give up!

2008-11-13T20:17:00.003+08:00

That's the only thing playing on my mind right now. I'm tired of all this. I'm sick of pushing myself, I've had it. I simply can't move another inch and I really no not want to think beyond 9 pm later.
I wish I could just bury myself in the comfort of my pillow and cry all my tears of frustration. There's a time when enough is simply enough!

It's just round the corner

2008-11-11T17:41:00.003+08:00

It's November and do you know what that means? Christmas is just round the corner and so is the end of 2008. Well time do fly fast. Here I am sitting behind my cubicle thinking of what I've accomplished so far this year? has it made me a better person? am I still sarcastic? more humble? impatient or a bit considerate? Hmmmm... I don't really know. May be yes, may be no.
Do I care about what goes round me? may be is a possibility. Do I fuss a lot when I'm pissed? Oh yeah I do.
Learning to be calm is hell not easy and trying to cool down my temper is like throwing more gas into a fire. Well that's today so lets hope tomorrow is slightly better for everyone sake especially mine.
Enough rant for today. Need to get back to my appraisal, prefer to call it "Apa-la-sial".

Idiotic is a character; the idiot is you!

2008-11-03T13:20:00.004+08:00

There's one thing that I really dislike *hate is a better word actually but since I try not to use it often, I stick to dislike for now* is having a brainless twit to actually tell me how to do my work. Most people do not like working in a shift and surprisingly I do.. sometimes *who am I to kid* but really, I have enough time to go have breakfast with my friends and cousins even during weekdays since I start work at 10 am. I have times to go to the bank or even send my mom to do some marketing at 7 am in the morning.

Working in this institution * I almost said mental institution; not far fetch from the truth though* in this department gives me those opportunities and my working hours vary through out the year. Some people say we have an enjoyable life, coming in at 10 am, 11 am or even 12 noon. What makes me my blood boil is they never mention that I have to go back at 7pm, 8pm or 9pm. Sometimes I wish I could trade places with them and let them 'enjoy' the 'fun' coming to work at odd hours. I bet my A&%$# they won't last long.

Am I complaining? well I don't mind working at odd hours BUT working for weeks in a row is not what I have in mind as tolerance!!!!!. Tolerance is keeping your eyes and mouth shut when your so called officer comes to work at 9 am and goes back at 5 pm sharp. Hey you owe the company 5 working hours every week idiot!.

Am I complaining?? well no... how can I since I now have sinus due to staying in a cold temperature for more then 9 hours a week and having pain all over my body as well .That's nothing to complaint I tell you. That's the beauty of being the 'Kuli-kang'. Nothing to complaint is; coming late to work cause your cat died! that's nothing to complaint!.

Do you think I'm still complaining? oooooo noooooo.. me complaining? I just have to listen to a brainless twit for an officer who am I to complaint again????

I'm a Malaysian..

2008-10-24T10:10:00.002+08:00

This is a good one, and what makes it good? well it rings true , it shows the double-standard values we always carry with us.

What Makes A Malaysian A Malaysian

1. You can name all the players from the the English Premier League, but ask you to name one football player from Malaysia , one name also cannot come out.

2. When StreamyX come, you complain StreamyX too slow. When Maxis Broadband come, you complain Maxis Broadband always disconnects. When WiMax come, you complain Wimax too expensive. In the end, you say StreamyX still the best lah.

3. When toll price increase, you complain. When petrol price increase, you complain. When you go Starbucks buy RM10 coffee, NO COMPLAINTS.

4. When you cannot find parking in a shopping mall and have to walk very far, you complain. When you go inside the shopping mall and there's SALE , run from one end of 1Utama to the other also NO COMPLAINTS.

5. You are always late. And the excuse you give when you're late is always either: (a) traffic jam (b) no transport or (c) cannot find parking. ( This is my usual excuses..LOL)

6. You have a parent who force you to take science stream in high school, study engineering in Uni, then when you graduate, they ask you to forget everything you learnt in Uni and do commerce.

7. You know someone who can specially develop an angmoh accent when speaking to a American / British / Australian.

8. You complain against the government in kopitiam, you talk loud loud. Leave anonymous comments on blogs, you also talk loud loud. Attend ceremah by DAP, you shout loud loud. Then when Opposition organise a protest and ask you to go, you dun wan. Scared later kena tangkap by ISA.

9. Every year on the 30th April, you are one of the people below queueing up last minute to submit your tax return at the IRB.

10. When you pay RM10 for something that costs RM1, you blame the Chinese.

11. When a government service is too slow, you blame the Malays.

12. When a building is not good and collapsed, you blame the Indians.

13. When a Chinese student won a scholarship, you say 'Wah! Very clever hor?' When a Malay student won a scholarship, you say 'Aiya! Of course lah!
He Malay mah!'

14. When an angmoh stranger kiss you on the cheek to say hello, you very happy. When a Malaysian guy kiss you on the cheek to say hello, you slap him.

Yeah, we had a good laugh but on the serious thought, is this how others' perspective of us? We have lots of funny quarks but what do we gain from them besides being selfish double-standard nincompoops? It's never too late to change and hopefully for the better and if anyone has some more to add please do so and hopefully we'll realized how such attitude has hold us down and it smugs the values which we hold dear. *Talking about a speck of dust in other person's us but fail to see the log in ours*

Do you get it?

2008-10-19T14:11:00.003+08:00

One of women unanswered question and probably never will have an answer to is MEN. The other day I had an interesting conversation with Miss Pinky and our conversation came to MEN.
I don't know if you ever realized it, but whenever I ask any guy *the so-called-straight kind* their ideal woman, *This usually happened when I'm asked about my Ideal man* Almost and if not nearly all would give me this list;
1. She has to be beautiful, if not pretty or cute would be ok.
2. She has to be slim, a bit chubby would be OK just not too big.
3. She has to have a great sense of humour.
4. She has a career and have a great niche in style not too out of date *kampung la konon*
5.Not too short or too tall.
6. The latest to the list, "She must have money" ... Talking about materialistic. It seems that men are trying their very best to be a woman> we have evidents ok. Drag queen contest. I never received an email about 'pengkid contest'. There's even a label for men who are into fashion, skin care, looks and all and they love to be call 'metro-sexual' while for us women it's just plain keeping ourselves clean, hygienic and presentable.
The list could go on and on..... and my 'Soalan cepu emas' would be........

Do you think you're handsome? good looking?
The usual answer, "well I'm not handsome or good looking but.....

WTF.... you're not good looking, you nearly lost all your hair, you do not have a six pack bod but a huge one pack also known as beer belly, you look like a penguin since you're not that tall and carrying all that excess baggage with you.. Please!!!!!!
Sometimes I have the hardest time trying to bite my tongue from saying something sarcastic whenever I hear a guy tells me about his dream girl; shhhhiiiisssshhhhhhh!!!!! Get a life!!!
That's not the end of it, after listing down their dream girl criteria, I have to hear the whining of why some of guys have the luck with the right girl.
Explain again what do you mean with the right girl? so if the girl is big, not classy, not fashionable then she's not girlfriend material? but you are?
Puking is my next reaction, sometimes I wish I could tell them right to the face; "Hey idiot I think you just got your dayyem answer" who in the world would want to go out with a
bigot, chauvinist guy like you. Hell not me???

It's my 200th post!

2008-10-14T13:04:00.010+08:00

Hey it's my 200Th post! Weeeeuuuuu... I couldn't believe myself *grin* I actually wrote 200 craps. Oh well, just some thoughts and events that comes buzzing through my busy life *oh well, may be not so busy at times but still... heh*
There are times when simple words of wisdom as these, help to keep ourselves humble.

I love the last one most. It reminds me to always look a head and don't give up whenever I fail at something. Even though I'm disappointed in someone, I should not take it personally and always look for that silver lining.

Some says opportunity comes only once but when you look at it, opportunity lurks at every corner and crannies but we simply let it pass us by. Some say it's such a regret to let such great opportunity go but never haste to grab the next that comes by.

At times I do the same, I blame it it on not having enough time, not enough funding, no support, bla.. bla... and that's it, just excuses.

I don't know...

2008-10-10T17:52:00.002+08:00

There are times when I really..really....really.....*1000000xxxxxxxx* dislike people answering my simple question with "I DON'T KNOW*. If your answers are all "I don't know" then what do you know? why are you even here in the first place? Are you sure you're qualified to be here? Are you even Human??
Iskhssss!!!!!!!!!!!

I love facebook..sort of

2008-10-08T10:40:00.003+08:00

One of the reason I join so many online-group-chat... bla..bla... is to search for my friends, ex-schoolmates and new friends as well. I get to see a different side of people as well, the good, the bad and the weird.
After all these years I finally found Juni, my first best friend in St Joe primary school way way way back. Hehehe... *do the math yourself* I was browsing through some photos when doing a bit of cleaning in my room. I came across pictures of my ex schoolmates and buddies. As I browse through them, a feeling of excitement and sadness came over me. There are times where I miss them all and I do feel guilty for not keeping in touch with them all this while.
Yeah I did the same old same old cliche's excuses; no time, busy bla..bla..bla... That's what they are excuses!. When I finally caught Juni * Know she's Juni-Jeremy Margie* online and I realized she's just a click away from me. All the excuses I've practise all this while are useless. I was overwhelm with joy and sadness and some weird feelings all jumble up in me.
So I'm making another promise to myself, I don't need to wait till New Year; I'll keep in touch with all my friends. *Fingers cross*

Too much of anything is not good

2008-10-07T09:29:00.006+08:00

There are times when I disagree with the saying, 'nothing is enough in this world', if you think carefully anything that we have too much is not good. It makes us lazy, egoistic and demanding, not to mention the airs in the head.

Working in a place full of airheads has shown me what the next generation of individuals we're producing. Sometimes I wonder what would become of these so call modern, technology equipped generation. Never bothered about simple rules, ignorance of common sense such as locking the toilet door when using it or flushing down whatever waste they've disposed in the toilet bowl *Yuck!!! not a pretty sight I tell you* You name it; I've seen them all. You can forget about following simple instruction, for almost all never read or bother to understand what simple things that are required of them. Can you imagine a whole new generation of 3rd class mentalities living, working, breathing in a 1st class facilities. I think if you look closely; this is the reason why our nation can't ever moved forward in great pace compared to other nation. It's the people! We are the one responsible for building up a nation and we're also responsible when that Nation comes crumbling down.

Sometimes I wonder if this is a product of the institution they're in or is it a product of their upbringing? One can't ever blame the institution that's for sure. So where did 'we' go wrong?

If tomorrow never comes..

2008-09-30T10:51:00.002+08:00

If tomorrow never come then live today as if you've never live before. Rise above everyone's aspectation, smile more and leave all your worries behind. I received another interesting email this morning, talking about GOD and his existance. I'm not a goody-two-shoe but I know to whom I place all my trust and hope in.

It was an intersting conversation between a barber and his client. The barber was talking about GOD and his 'non existing' in this world. His reasons was war, suffering, pain and affiction. If there's a GOD, they won't be all this in the world he said. *I found out that that's what my hair-dresser likes to do as well; having a conversation with me while washing and trying to tame my wild frizzy curls. Hmmm..* well back to the story, after listening to the barber babbling, his client who remain silence until the barber finished. * who would retaliate if the person who's cutting your hair has a pair of sharp scissors and a blade in his hand?*

Hehehe.. but what I really love was the ending; as the client walk out of the barber shop, he saw a man; a beggar. His hair was long and unkempt, dirty looking. So the client walk back to the barber and told him saying, "I don't believe barber exist". The barber was not happy when he heard his client said, 'Barber doesn't exist'. "Yes they do", he said but still the client said they don't. Then the barber said, "why?" so pointing at the Beggar outside the shop, the client said "If they do exist, there won't be people with long unkempt hair". Then the barber said, "They should come to me and have me cut his hair and beard" then the client answered, "YES! they should come and ask GOD to end their suffering and pain as well"

I agree with him, so whenever we try and blame GOD for our short comings and suffering and worries, try and ask ourselves again, did we asked HIM for help? or we just try and over come everything on our own?

Sometimes when I feel the weight of the world on my shoulder and all I want to do is give up and cry, I look inside my heart and realise I'm weak and I do need GOD to strengthen me all the time. So for those who keep on saying I'm a strong woman and I endure trials and turbulence, well It's never me standing on my two own feet *did I mention I have small feet?*

A rainbow.. A pot of gold

2008-09-25T14:47:00.004+08:00

"As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will.
You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time.

You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken.

You'll fight with your best friend.

You'll blame a new love for things an old one did.

You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and

you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.

Don't be afraid that your life will end,
be afraid that it will never begin. "

I received this through email today and even though the words are simple but their meanings ring true. Thinking of the past is not wrong but living in the past is definitely not healthy. What's in the past can't never be erase but changing from the lesson learnt is a must. For every bump we meet, for every pit holes we fall in, there's always a lesson there. IF you don't learnt from them then there's no point in grumbling about the World's not being fair to you.

Some how as mere human being, we have the tendency to blame others or things for our misfortune. To put the blame on ourselves would always be the last thing on our mind. Sometimes it's good to think before we answer, no matter how simple the question is.